iHave a Secret Romance
by Laury the Latrator
Summary: "Sam..." She continued running her tongue along his lips. Breaking away finally he managed to say, "Sam, stop."   "What up, nub?" Sam/Freddie, Seddie One-shot.


Two teens stepped out onto a fire escape, the girl leading the boy by his hand. From inside, the sounds of a party followed them until she closed the window. Turning to her partner who was just opening his mouth to say something, she covered his mouth with hers, effectively silencing any questions. Startled, it took the boy a moment to jerk back.

"Guh..." The adolescent said. The girl was not amused and attempted to draw closer. This only jump started his ability to speak. "Sam, what was that? I mean... why?" She groaned, now less than an arms length away.

"Why does it have to mean anything!" She exclaimed. "Why do you have to be such a girl about this?"

"About what?"

"This!" Sam roughly grabbed his head and kissed him with vigor. Freddie staggered back, bouncing against the stairs, but she followed. She'd become incredibly well practiced since their first time. His knees gave out, and they both collapsed onto the cold metal, still locked at the lips. His hands automatically reached out to steady her at the waist. Eventually, with all his crazy boy chemistry, he kissed her just as hard.

They parted panting, only two inches between them. Sam had her eyes closed, allowing Freddie the freedom to scrutinize her. Red splotches like those she got in summer marked her face; she definitely wasn't alone in that respect. Her hair fell and tickled his neck. Instinctively he reached up and tucked the loose tendrils behind her ear. That made her open her eyes.

The staring contest that ensued was intense. Finally he leaned up to meet her. Sam softly groaned her appreciation. And so it began.

* * *

_It was a simple arrangement really. They both got what they wanted from each other with no strings attached. He understood. They both had hormones, they both had difficulty dating. His geekiness prevented any lasting relationship, and the boys Sam ran with were only after sex. It was a win-win: he got the end of his dry spell, she met her needs without being pressured. It was perfect._

* * *

They were making out again. They'd developed a system; she'd tap him on the shoulder in passing, whisper to him a time and the words "fire escape", and walk away. It was infuriating, and it guaranteed that when they'd meet he'd be all worked up.

His thumbs rubbed in circles that just barely brushed underneath her bra. He'd never been that bold before, but her groan seemed to indicate that he was safe.

"Freddie..." It's the only time she really says his name without an insult attached. He'd be lying if he said he didn't love it. Sam pulled back, flushed and breathless. He frowned at her (definitely not pouting). It took her a minute to speak. "You're not half bad at this." It's sad how much that lifted his spirits.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, Carly don't know what she's missing." She accompanied her words with a peck on his lips. Thinking of their friend made Freddie suddenly feel guilty for keeping such a huge secret from her. But Sam misinterpreted the torn look on his face and laughed. "Aww... Is ickle Fweddie missing his wittle crush?" She quickly dropped the baby talk. "Then do what I do, Benson: close your eyes and pretend I'm someone else."

Before she could see the hurt her dismissive voice caused him, he leaned in and planted one on her. But he refused to close his eyes.

* * *

_It's no big deal. They're just two teenagers playing around. It's really nothing important. Certainly not to her. So why is it starting to become the highlight of his day? Why does he no longer pick fights with her? Why do the usual taunts sting a thousand times worse?_

* * *

She tried to pull him through the window, but his feet didn't budge. He wore an angry scowl, and jerked his arm out of her grasp to cross them across his chest. Sam gave a frustrated snarl.

"What's wrong with you today! Why are you being so difficult?"

"I'm..." He said, "Just not feeling up to it."

"I could fix that if you came outside."

"No!"

"What? Why?" Freddie glanced around looking for a nonexistent diversion.

"I dunno... Why can't you make out with your new boyfriend?" Sam let out a disbelieving breath.

"First of all, he's not my boyfriend. We've just been on two dates. Second, you know how it is, you give a boy an inch he takes a mile!"

"Oh, but I'm free game?"

"Yes!" She shouted, as if grateful he'd figured out something monumental. Unimpressed, he kept glaring at her until she relented. "It's safe, you know? I mean, you couldn't hurt me if you tried."

Freddie turned and walked off, wishing it was the other way around.

* * *

_He was jealous, and he has trouble hiding how ecstatic he is when he learns the couple doesn't go anywhere. Sam comes to him that night for vigorous healing, though he pretends to accept her excuse of pent up energy. Inside he's thanking what's-his-face, because one man's loss is another gain. But it doesn't feel like enough anymore. And there's that new unfamiliar fear to deal with; when this ends he'll won't have any of her. But what choice does he have?_

_He rolls the dice._

* * *

"Sam..." She continued running her tongue along his lips. Breaking away finally he managed to say, "Sam, stop."

"What up, nub?" She asked, crossing her arms defensively as she backed away a few steps.

"I want to talk, okay." Freddie tried very hard to calm his hormones down, but it was incredibly difficult to do with her blonde curls whipping around in the breeze like that. And her cheeks were flushed in that unbelievably adorable way. It would have been so easy to give in to their usual routine, but there was too much tumbling around his mind at the moment.

"But," She began, her irritation at being interrupted taking a back seat to her confusion, "You said to meet on the fire escape, I thought—"

"—I know, but Sam... this isn't working for me." She blinked, and Freddie watched as surprise, disappointment, and (could it be) pain flitted over her features before being replaced with that blank stare of hers.

"How? You've seemed pretty into it so far." He sighed. He didn't even know why he was trying to rock the boat. But he couldn't stop now.

"I mean that I want more from this thing."

Red colored her face momentarily, and she snapped, "Well, I'm not gonna do you!"

"No! Not—Ugh!" He groaned and slumped onto the metal stairs, cradling his head in his hands. "Thats not what I meant, Sam." She sat on the window sill, unintentionally mirroring their first encounter here.

"Then why are you trying to ruin this? What's up?" Freddie took a deep breath and started his confession without looking at her.

"Because I want more than kissing out here and never speaking of it out there. I want to go on dates. I want to hold hands in public. I want a girlfriend, and for people to know about us." He met her unreadable eyes. "But I don't want this." There was a moment of quiet before her unusually hoarse voice reclaimed itself.

"Well, go on then, I'm not stopping ya. I'm no ball and chain." She stood and turned to go via window until he froze her in place.

"I want it with you." He was almost apologetic, definitely morose with those five words. Sam spun around to give him a piercing and quizzical stare. He remained with his gaze downcast.

"Yup, that's my problem. I like you. Heck," He laughed a little, "It's probably worse than that."

"Benson," She said slowly in disbelief, but he cut off whatever she was going to say.

"I know this doesn't change anything for you but you gotta understand that I just cant keep coming out here with you."

"Why not?" She asked in a whisper and he looked up. It took him a minute of trying to gleam something from her unreadable face before he could answer.

"It breaks my heart. Every time we're making out and I know it doesn't mean anything to you. Or whenever I have to act like you leaving is no big deal, that you don't matter to me. You break my heart more times than you hit me, and I actually miss the physical abuse." He got up and placed a hand on the window's edge so he was blocking the stunned girls way back in.

Swallowing hard he told her, "You should go home now. I've got some thinking to do or... something." He turned and headed to his familiar folding chair. And unpredictably...

Sam Puckett did as she was told.

* * *

_He knows he's lost the best thing that's ever happened to him. He doesn't regret it though. He had to ask. She had to know._

* * *

When they met next in the hallway at school, she brushed against his side. Freddie stiffened, expecting the usual time and place whispered in his ear. How would he handle it? He doubted he could stay away for long.

But what she did was inexplicable.

Reaching up on her toes, Sam left a lingering kiss upon his cheek. And he felt his fingers twining with hers. He sent her a probing glance, but all she returned with was a shy smile. Yes, a _shy_, un-confident, un-Sam-like smile.

It was gorgeous.

* * *

_They start fresh, neither of them bringing up their secret affair or his declaration. They date._

_They're just two teenagers falling in love._


End file.
